Numfar, Loki, Agent Coulson, and Nick Fury will do the Dance of Twitter...

Update: The text of the Twitter chat can be found here.

Today (Tuesday), at 11am PST (so 2pm EST, or 7pm GMT), writer-director Joss Whedon will be on Twitter, answering Twitter questions (Twestions?) about The Avengers for a full 30 minutes, and there'll also be a ten-second teaser for the Superbowl spot for The Avengers. Oh, and Tom Hiddleston, Clark Gregg, and extra-special last-minute bonus guest Samuel L. Jackson will also be answering questions at the same time. Who? (It’s funny because they’re not Joss Whedon.)

Seriously, though, Tom Hiddleston and Clark Gregg are very talented in their own right. And now kind of iconic within the Marvel movie universe. But if you’re not a geek, you might still be saying ‘Who?’, but unironically. Bad non-geeks. (I jest.)

Tom Hiddleston plays Loki in Thor and The Avengers, and Clark Gregg plays Agent Coulson, who’s become somewhat of a staple recurring character in Marvel Studios’ films; or, in other words, “the glue that holds the Marvel universe together”.

And Samuel L. Jackson is Samuel. L. Jackson. Like Joss Whedon and Nathan Fillion, for instance, he's a native of the planet Awesome, making him basically the equivalent of a superhero on Earth. But, you know, one who makes films and stuff.

Fans have urged Joss Whedon to join Twitter in the past (“Join us, and together we will rule the Internet as fanboys and genius…”), but Joss has always replied “I’ll never join you!” Or something along those lines. Okay, he's tweeted once, from the @drhorrible account. But now, suddenly I find myself needing to know the plural of ‘Joss Whedon tweet’.

However, as awesome as Joss’ non-Twitter-based projects sound, it would be cool if his trademark wit were applied to the medium of Twitter for more than a few fleeting moments. Maybe if the fans keep virtually fawning over him in their tweets, he won’t notice that the webchat is officially over, and so will continue tweeting. Like Dory in Finding Nemo, hopefully Joss will “Just keep tweeting, just keep tweeting…”  If Dory were a bird instead of a fish.

Maybe, once he finally realises that the Q&A is officially over, Joss Whedon will sign off with: “Wish I could stay…” Upon which the rest of Twitter would spontaneously burst out into a tweeted acappella rendition of the remainder of ‘Once More, With Feeling’. And Joss Whedon, smiling with contentment, would quietly slip away to finish editing The Avengers or Much Ado About Nothing or some secret project that we don’t even know about yet.

Anyway, while this news may come as a surprise given Joss’ stated reluctance to join Twitter, maybe he’s just stuck on editing The Avengers or something, and has simply decided to procrastinate on Twitter like the rest of us. So I hear. Ahem.

However, Joss’ career has been full of surprises for the fans lately, though they've been of the good. When he was first rumoured for the Avengers gig, fans geeked out over the possibility, but no-one thought he’d actually get it. Then he did (link), and even now it still feels like one of those things that’s too awesome to be true. But it is.

Then Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard’s long-delayed The Cabin in the Woods finally got a release date (link). Then, out of nowhere, came the news that he’d secretly finished filming an adaptation of Joss Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing, with a cast of awesome actors, during his two weeks off from working on The Avengers. Then it was announced that he’d follow The Avengers with Wastelanders, a post-apocalyptic web series with Warren Ellis. Then it was announced that his and his wife Kai Cole’s micro-studio, Bellwether Pictures/Productions, would follow Much Ado About Nothing with the Joss-penned-and-produced film In Your Eyes.

And now, one of the greatest writers of dialogue (not to mention everything else) ever is planning to set his virtual pen to Twitter. (No, not me, I joined a while ago.)

Joss Whedon’s career has always been anything but predictable, in keeping with the gasp-and-squee-inducing twists of his TV shows. But now, ironically, he’ll probably do The Avengers 2. And then it’ll turn out to be a musical.

This is probably the most exciting thing since…District 13 was on TV the other day. Seriously, did you see those action sequences? Woah. (Parcours FTW! (And that is a sentence that you will only find on the Internet. Teh interwebs FTW!)) Admittedly, it’s quite feasible that the sequel, District 13: Ultimatum, which was shown the next day, was even more exciting, but I didn’t get the chance to watch it. I do have a life, you know. Stupid life.)

Hopefully Joss Whedon will end all of his tweets with “Grr Argh”. But then the fandom’s brains would collectively explode. I don’t wanna explode!

You can join in the Twitter geek-out here: @Avengers, using the hashtag #Avengers, but please don’t drown out my cries of, “Joss please love me!”, “Hire me one day!”, “Please somehow magically make there be more seasons of Firefly!” and “No, seriously, I’m really awesome, please just retweet me or @-reply me or something…”

Of course, Twitter might just give way under the collective weight of fandom. It’ll be a Tweet-pocalypse! (I predicted it, I should at least get to name it…) If not, I expect the following (with or without hashtags) to be trending topics; preferably all at once: “#JossWhedon”, “#TomHiddleston”, “#ClarkGregg”, “#SamuelLJackson”, “#Avengers”, “#BestFilmEver”, “#Genius”, “#GrrArgh”, “#AWorldOfYes”, “#Squee”, and “#NumfarDoTheDanceOfJoy”.

But don’t tweet him any specific creative ideas, even if they’re awesome, otherwise even if he thinks of them himself at some point, he legally won’t be able to use them. AND IT’LL BE ALL YOUR FAULT. So, fellow over-enthusiastic fanboys, please don’t deprive us all of a hypothetical future awesome show about [spoilers]…

Marvel's The Avengers is written and directed by Joss Whedon, stars Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Tom Hiddleston, Jeremy Renner, Scarlett Johansson, and Samuel L. Jackson, and is released on May 4, 2012 in the US, and on April 27, 2012 in the UK.

Whedonesque

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