The bazillionaire ruler of the Star Wars empire takes a potshot at the fanboys, dusts off long-dormant indie cred...

Director, writer, and apparent 2012 apocalypse adherent George Lucas has had enough of the Hollywood "where am I supposed to put all these tanker trucks full of money?" rat race, recently announcing in a New York Times interview that he's done with big budget movie making.

Both Lucas and his longtime legendary apologist and yes-man Rick McCallum were recently and separately interviewed in regards to George's decades-in-the-making Tuskegee airmen action Red Tails, which opens this Friday. What's making headlines of sorts, however, is not the pleasant conversation about Lucas' work as Executive Producer on the World War II film, but... well... that other thing he's known for. C'mon, it's George Lucas.

So what exactly has the internet mildly up in arms about these chats? We'll get there, but I don't want to spoil it by jumping in head first. Let's warm up with this brilliant near-slip-of-the-tongue from McCallum during a sitdown with Collider.com:

"[George] started 23 years ago on Red Tails and now he has fulfilled everything he set out to do, which no... which very few filmmakers ever get an opportunity to do."

Kudos to Rick for quickly backpedaling on what was most likely an ill-advised opinion regarding George Lucas as the greatest filmmaker in the history of filmmaking. Probably best to keep a lid on that one, RM. That amusing faux pas aside, McCallum further embarrasses himself with more giddily effusive Lucas praise.

"Now with... a little bit of rest... I think he can set upon the next chapter of his life and figure out 'Okay, do I have a new set of films... that I want to do?' And that's what we hope and wait anxiously to hear from him on."

Anyone else get the feeling that McCallum lives in a trailer on the Back Forty of Skywalker Ranch, staring unblinkingly at the 'direct-line-to-Unca-George' bright red phone on his desk and anxiously waiting for GL to call and give him a job? "George needs rest, George is a fragile genius, George will hopefully come up with some nice little film ideas soon so I can make my next mortgage payment."

But enough jokes (for now). Despite claiming to be on the verge of retiring in the 1990s before he was (regrettably) lured back via the Star Wars prequels, Lucas sounds as if he's serious this time. Apart from leaving himself an out clause for a possible fifth installment in the Indiana Jones franchise, George is done. Even if a fifth Indy movie does happen, Steven Spielberg will almost certainly direct. So with this announcement, it is almost certain that George Lucas will never direct a big budget film ever again.

But hey, about those big budget movies he did direct... Lucas would like you to know that he worked really hard on them. And if you're one of those ubergeeks who has decided to make your own fan-filmic version of Star Wars, the version that you think GL should have made, he's not overly pleased with you.

"On the internet, all those guys who are complaining I made a change are completely changing the movie. Fine. But my movie, with my name on it, that says I did it, needs to be the way I want it."

BLAM! "If I wanna replace Darth Vader with a unicorn halfway through my next edit of A New Hope, you nerds'll deal with it cuz it's my movie!" But it gets better. Next comes what is, to my memory, the most pointed response that George has ever made to his army of fanboy detractors and their many complaints about his recent Star Wars additions. Some of you hardcore fans may remember that when GL first began concocting the mythology behind his story in the mid 1970s, he originally conceived of an epic nine-film series. Meaning that Lucas gets questions all the time about whether he's given any thought to creating Episodes VII to IX. So is that still a possibility?

"Why would I make any more when everybody yells at [me] all the time and says what a terrible person [I am]?"

Ooooookay. Guess not. Look, nobody is saying that George is a terrible person. Just a horrible writer. And kind of a horrible director, too. His awful experiences making A New Hope and dealing with draconian studio oversight distracted him from artistic creation when he was young and hungry. By the time Lucas didn't have to worry about those problems anymore, he was fat and happy, distracted instead by the huge stacks of cash; cash made by elevating his deftness at ravenous business acumen over creativity. Alright, so George Lucas might be a terrible person.

Anyhow, now we wait. Does George have it in him to make another American Graffiti or THX-1138? Does the possibility exist that we may once again witness proof of Lucas' lately-quiescent ability as a filmmaker? Can George remember how to make movies without green screens or $120 million budgets? Or will he merely use this opportunity to retreat back home to Skywalker Ranch, decide to turn Yoda pink in the Super-Special Edition, and count his money?

Whatever happens, it'll make headlines, for good or ill. Which proves, I guess, that George Lucas is still worth talking about. Happy 'Big Stupid Movies' retirement, George. It's been real. Now show us whatcha got.

Collider

See also:

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 3D review

Star Wars Uncut is the best video on the internet

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