It's like that Steven Wright joke, where he woke up and everything was replaced by an exact replica ...

"She's Ruining Everything"

After some soul-searching and table-saw contemplation, Bridget decides that instead of getting rid of the guy she killed herself, she will hide it and go meet Hot Malcolm halfway between Park Avenue and Rock Springs. Events (in the form of Andrew's business partner, H.G. Wells, Andrew's daughter, Juliet, and Andrew himself) conspire to prevent that, however, and in the end she decides to be Siobahn for a little while longer.

Bridget is trying to hide the Body when Gemma shows up at the loft to discuss her marital issues. She never suspected Siobahn, by the way, she thought it was her lesbian nanny. So why did they have to meet at the Ginormous Loft with the Body? You can tell your best friend that you falsely accused the nanny over the phone. I hate an obvious red herring like this - if Gemma didn't hire the killer, there was no reason to meet there. But apparently she didn't. I have to willfully suspend logic and disbelief for this. Bridget tries to convince Gemma that Henry's not having an affair at all (well, he's not anymore, har har har). They decide to get a new contractor for the Loft, which means that Bridget has a few days before the body is discovered; whew.

I like it that murder is something messy that you actually have to deal with. I mean, it's Hollywood - messy, with a neat little pool of blood on the floor, but still ...

The next morning, Bridget encounters Juliet walk-of-shaming her way into the house. Maybe *she* is ruining everything? Hey, it's HG Wells (the lovely Jaime Murray) Andrew's partner. Is *she* the one who is ruining everything? She's kind of a bitch.

Bridget goes to Ginormous Loft to try to get rid of the body. Contemplating a table saw is one my favorite things that she does this episode. After a quick call with AA sponsor Malcolm, she decides instead to hastily cover the body and skip town: but as she heads to the door, Agent Nestor is on the other side, and rather than letting him in the Loft she sends cop to the donut shop across the street (that's not politically correct, surely? What does she think this is, Twin Peaks?) After a dicey moment at the bank, Bridget takes her go-bag and what looks to be a couple hundred thousand dollars from Siobahn's emergency fund and heads to the airport. This whole plan hinges on some time before someone discovers the body, and goes awry when 1) Agent Nestor sends some people over to investigate and 2) HG Wells decides to have the big investor event at the loft that night.

Bridget rushes over to supervise the event planner and the entire crew who are about to stumble on her big, murder-y secret. Luckily, the planner decided to go with a 'Titanic' vibe, which includes steamer trunks, perfectly body-sized. Later, dressed to kill (hee!) the party is under way. Bridget is cleaning up the blood pooling under the steamer trunk when Agent Nestor pops up behind her. Andrew sees Agent Nestor leave and asks who it is.

The murderer's cell phone starts ringing during Andrew's speech - she found the picture of Siobahn in his coat, contemplated dismemberment by table saw, but never thought to check for a cell phone? What is she, a rookie? She retrieves the phone and gets a weird look from a weird guy - and kudos from HG about her 'pregnancy strategy'. Apparently, babies are the en vogue way to save your failing marriage. After the party, at home - Andrew and Siobahn are so posh, I think they actually have artichokes instead of flowers on their bedside table. Bridget is still ready to ditch everybody and go meet Hot Malcolm, but she realizes that people need her (well, Siobahn, but still) and she decides to stay. Cut to Malcolm getting the message on his cell when a car pulls up and in it - Bodaway Macawi, looking like a bad guy.

In Paris, Siobahn goes to withdraw her emergency fund only to find that it's gone. She's ruining everything! It was Bridget, all along. Back to Bridget, opening the trunk - to find the body is gone. As are the bloodstains (remember how it was leaking out of the bottom?) They actually show the inside of the trunk and it's totally new wood. maybe the stole-the-body fairies are also resurfacing-steamer-trunk fairies. Aside from a few major logistical leaps of faith, not a bad showing from SMG and co. At least there was no green-screen this week.

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