You win or you die, or sometimes both ....

"You Win or You Die"

Summary: After realizing that Jon Arryn was murdered for discovering Cersei and Jaime's twincest, Lord Ned decides to have a meeting with Cersei about it. You know, just to let her know that he knows...the same info that Arryn got murdered for knowing ... does anyone else see a problem here? Jon Snow takes his vows as Watcher. Khal Drogo has no interest in taking Dany to Westeros to take back the Iron Throne until one of King Robert's assassins comes forth; that soon changes the mind of Khal, killing his wife and unborn son and all. In fact, he seems a little peeved, although it's hard to tell under all that guy-liner. And King Robert himself gets gored by a boar, boar-gored; if this show wasn't so exciting I could make tons of boared-to-death jokes ... damn HBO's fast paced excellence.

Tywin Lannister, Cersei and Jaime's dad send Jaime off to fetch Tyrion back from his Eyrie prison. Bit late, that. Tywin is gutting a stag, the sigil of King Robert's house Baratheon. Bit prophetic, that. It's also putting me off my dinner.

Cersei and Lord Ned meet in a garden, where he tells her he knows about the twincest, and that they pushed Bran Stark out the window because of it. (Excellent deductive reasoning, actually, he didn't even need his 12-year-old daughter to figure it out for him.) Lord Ned is totally going to tell on her, so he's giving her a chance to run. Five second head start ... go! You know, Lord Stark may be the moral centre of the show, but he is not an excellent judge of character.

Robert comes back from the hunt in pieces, finally learning the folly of combining boar hunting with binge drinking, and subsequently makes Ned Regent and Protector until Joffrey is of age. Lord Ned doesn't tell Robert about twincest, or Joffrey's parentage...Sassy. Looks like someone is playing the game! Finally.

Renly, Robert's youngest brother, thinks they should oust Joffrey and bypass his older brother Stannis and just put Renly on the throne. Petyr advises Ned to make sure Joffrey succeeds, be best friends with the Lannisters, and put Joff and Sansa on the throne. Ned declines because of honor: without true sons, Robert's throne must go to Stannis: but he needs Petyr's help to get the City Watch, and hold the Lannisters at bay. Hey Ned, you big dummy! Petyr loves your wife. Do you really want to trust him? King Robert dies and Joffrey and Cersei call Lord Ned to the Throne Room. He gives Cersei the last will of Robert, and she rips it to shreds. He calls out the City Guard, who Littlefinger has assured him are on his side - and they murder all Ned's men.

Ser Jorah and Daenerys can't push Khal to want to overtake Westeros...he's just not feeling it. Jorah gets his long-awaited pardon from Varys the Spider and, with it in hand, he watches a wine seller offer Dany a very special tasting. Poison tasting, in fact. Ser Jorah saves her with the old, "You first! No, I insist" trick. Khal D. gives a big speech about how he's mad as hell and he's not going to take it anymore. In fact, all he is going to take is the Iron Throne, the Seven Kingdoms, and his enemies to hell. Go Drogo!

The Wildling Woman of Winterfell tells that there are strange things afoot north of the Wall; the creatures from the old stories weren't gone, they were asleep. Were they waiting for winter? I've heard it's coming. On the Wall, Uncle Benjen's horse comes back without him and Jon and Sam are sworn in as brothers of the Watch. Jon gets totally screwed out of a Ranger position; instead he's personal steward to Lord Commander Mormont and he needs Samwell Tarly to show him how this is actually a good thing. Looks like Jon Snow inherited Lord Ned's quick wit.

This show is totally out of control. Too many things are happening, and there's only three episodes left of the season. How many more bad guys can there be, by the way? We all love a bad guy - and those featured in the Game of Thrones are awesome and smart as hell -  but I'm a bit sad that all the good guys are so frickin' thick. Seriously.

See also:

Game of Thrones S1E7 review

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