Why the master of bizarre psychological surrealism shouldn't feel he's 'selling out' if he joined the latest Hollywood trend...

Let it be known I do not like 3D. It is essentially pointless, too expensive and adds nothing to the story whilst simultaneously decreasing the accuracy and saturation of the colour. Yes Toy Story 3 was amazing but not because it was screened in 3D.

In the eighties, 3D was a novelty that worked to sell movies for the briefest of time and while 21st century 3D is much more advanced, it is still that same gimmick. Recent diminishing returns on 3D movies (Disney’s Mars Needs Moms is currently the fourth biggest box-office flop ever) proves that audiences are still much more interested in a good story than seeing a ball or a knife coming out at them from the screen.

However, never one to disappoint with his unique story-telling, it is possible that David Lynch could utilise 3D in a way that will enhance his next feature and in doing so show filmmakers how to use it properly. It may take a few technical advancements for it to be totally possible, but nonetheless here are some strong reasons why David Lynch should take his bizarre visions into the 3D realm...

1: Lynch has already expressed an interest in 3D

Having worked with Cartier back in 2007 on a multifaceted exhibition which included a 3D floating diamond as a main attraction, Lynch has also been seen supporting Alioscopy 3D technology – a type of 3D television that has 8 different viewing angles.

If Lynch is this interested in the technology itself then surely it would make sense to utilise it in his work even if just to see what the outcome is.

2: Werner Herzog has already made one

The two directors are renowned for their distinctive styles of filmmaking and have recently collaborated on the Michael Shannon-starring My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done with Lynch producing and Herzog at the helm.

Herzog’s own 3D film, Cave of Forgotten Dreams is one of the only examples of immersive 3D that really worked. His documentary Grizzly Man is one of the greatest in recent years, and to attempt to push the boundaries of documentary film-making like this is commendable.

Feeling as if you were in the cave with the crew was an amazing feeling but because the 3D was so unbelievably subtle in its usage, I almost wasn’t aware of it, thus rendering it pointless. However…

3: David Lynch’s Unsettling Dreams

Immersion is exactly what you want for a film that already feels very much like a dream (see the creepy Eraserhead and most of Lynch's work since). 3D will add that extra visual dimension that Lynch already creates in the viewers mind with his imagery and storytelling. Imagine watching the rabbits from Inland Empire in full on 3D or the mystery man from the nightmare that is Lost Highway! I for one would feel extremely uneasy if that man appeared right beside me.

The surreality of Lynch’s movies lends itself to the idea of witnessing a 3D dream on the big screen; the extra dimensions Lynch has created in the viewer’s minds will become almost tangible

4: Voyeurism

Throughout his career, Lynch has woven ideas of voyeurism into many of his films, notably Lost Highway and Blue Velvet. I’m not saying they should produce 3D versions of his previous work (he isn’t George Lucas after all), but just picture THAT famous scene in three dimensions:

David Lynch already places the viewer in a compromising, voyeuristic position, and to have to witness Frank through the slits in a cupboard with the extremely unsettling action playing out in 3D would be terrifying - he could revolutionise the way in which 3D horror films are made. Instead of the tired chainsaws coming out of the screen, Lynch could place the audience in the protagonist’s shoes and make them fully experience the fear the character would be feeling.

Finally...

5: Mark Kermode will physically eat his shoe

On his BBC 5 Live radio show with Simon Mayo and his blog (Kermode Uncut) he has often been heard repeating the statement: “If David Lynch Makes a 3D movie and they show it at the Watershed [cinema in Bristol], I will go to the screening, and in honour of ‘Werner Herzog eats his shoe’ I will eat my shoe.”

Well Mark, the possibilities are there for David Lynch to make a 3D movie, and having noted his interest in the medium, I have a feeling it won’t be too long before you get to enjoy the taste of leather!

See also:

Peter Jackson easing 3D eyestrain for The Hobbit?

The worrying rebirth of 3D

Secret immunity to 3D movies

Green Lantern 3D Trailer

Glee 3D concert movie on the way

The 12 most deliciously-deranged movie monologues

The 6 Best Performances of Dennis Hopper

Top 20 lunatic cameos in movies

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