The gang get drunk, and without turning Glee into a Public Health Warning...

Here we are again, my friends, another week into Glee’s wretched second season. However, Eric Stoltz (seriously) directs us, yet again, to a high point in a forest of low. Last time they let him behind the camera, we got “Duets,” the one where Brittana talk about scissoring and Artie loses his virginity. As usual with guest directors, some of the camerawork was noticeably different, which is always welcome.

Tonight’s episode, about alcohol, could have been a mind-bending assault from After-school Special Land, and while there was a bit of that creeping in, the episode managed to be somewhat surprising in its over-all message that yes, alcohol is (or at least can be) fun, but not something to be treated lightly. We were spared most of the teen-show booze clichés (car crash, parental scolding, any real consequences) and only saw the most refreshingly banal of after-effects (vomiting, hangovers, embarrassing oneself).

Frankness has never been Glee’s weak suit but an episode of a network show featuring teens drinking in a relatively normal circumstance sans overbearing MESSAGE is almost shocking. Granted, there’s a weak contrivance at the end to head off any continuation of this plot, but they made their point (drink responsibly) without beating us over the head with it or offending while playing it for laughs.

The only real misstep of the episode for me was the actors’ portrayals of drunkenness. A couple days ago on Kotaku, an article showed up about drunkenness in video games where I found this nifty quote from Michael Caine where he said, "In real life, a drunk makes a huge effort to appear sober. A coarsely acted stage or film drunk reels all over the place to show you that he' s drunk. It' s artificial. And eventually, that kind of acting puts up a barrier between the actor and the audience, so that nothing the character says or does will be believed." For most of the scenes dealing with it, that pretty much sums up the drunkenness of the folks on Glee. It didn’t completely screw up my suspension of disbelief (another surprise), but it was really obvious I was watching people pretending to be drunk.

::shrug:: What can you do?

So, Figgins wants the glee club to perform for Alcohol Awareness Week. Ok. Puck badgers Rachel into having a party while her dads are away and she agrees in the hopes it will make her a better songwriter. During a game of spin-the-bottle, Blaine and Rachel share a spark, to Kurt’s horror and embark on a tentative single-episode fling of sorts. The kids begin drinking in school, first to ward off the three-days-later hangovers they all have and later as a nerve tonic, leading to an explosive crescendo. Meanwhile, Will still hasn’t gotten over Emma and goes drinking with Bieste to get his mind off it, culminating in a horrific embarrassment at the hands of Sue.

Pro: Figgins pronounces Ke$ha “Kee-dollar-sign-ha” (this will be the only time I spell that name with the ridiculous dollar sign).

Pro: Emma eats like a guinea pig.

Pro: Emma futzing with her wedding ring while asking Will if he’s seeing anyone.

Pro: Sue shoving “the chipper homosexual who coaches Aural Intensity” down a flight of stairs... twice.

Pro: Rachel’s awful original song is appropriately awful.

Pro: Normally when the show uses fan-generated portmanteau names, I itch uncontrollably, but Santana referring to “Santittany” just sounded so prurient, I couldn’t help but smile.

Pro: They broke out the multi-frames again.

Pro: Rachel’s basement has a stage.

Pro: Brittany running around without a shirt.

Pro: Finn breaking down the various archetypes (a word I’m surprised he knows) of drunk girls. Even though I knew it was a set-up to front off Rachel on her drunken clinginess, I was still curious to see the male archetypes.

Pro: Finn watching Quinn watching Santana and Sam, among numerous other blink-and-you’ll-miss-them character moments at the party.

Pro: Blaine and Rachel’s karaoke version of “Don’t You Want Me” didn’t make me cringe; quite the opposite, in fact.

Con: The party wasn’t the whole episode.

Pro: Burt’s reaction to finding Blaine (fully-clothed) in Kurt’s bed.

Pro: Artie’s wearing Wayfarers over his glasses.

Con: The dialogue after “Blame It” began ok, but quickly degenerated into stiff readings of factoids.

Pro: Will’s friendship with Bieste continues to become even more natural and believable, mostly due to Dot Jones’ work as opposed to Matt Morrison’s.

Pro: Rachel’s ridiculous bedazzled phone and wine glass. Since she doesn’t normally drink, it means she bedazzled that glass specifically for that scene.

Pro: Blaine and Kurt’s dust-up over Blaine’s possible bisexuality. I like how he didn’t just eat Kurt’s indignant little rant. Kurt ought to watch that shit; as Blaine tells him, it’s awfully intolerant, like it’s be the biggest set-back in the history of gaydom if his crush also liked girls.

Pro: Bieste sang for the first time tonight.

Pro: Brittany’s bra lurking in the background of the clean-up scene.

Con: The Hummels’ kitchen (not to mention the house) is really beyond their income.

Pro: Burt/Kurt scenes are always fantastic, especially when Burt doesn’t sit for his son’s indignance over issues of gayness.

Pro: Kurt getting in the last word, as teenagers are often wont to do, asking Burt to educate himself about gay sex so he can come talk to him if he needs to.

Con: ...but did anyone else imagine Burt studiously watching gay porn when Kurt said this?

Pro: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight the part of Miss Fanservice will be played by Brittany Pierce.

Pro: Kesha is a troll representing all that is soulless and disposable about modern pop music, but damn if they didn’t do a good job with her absurd song.

Pro: Emma listens to Sue’s broadcast of Will’s misdirected drunken booty call from the outdoor p.a.. I suppose her office hasn’t been wired back into the system since Sue disconnected it back in the Madonna episode.

Con?: Even though this was sort of an anti-drinking episode, all the songs were pro-drinking.

Con: Most of the episode’s subplots get a really rushed ending in the last few minutes, like they were originally gonna make this a two-parter or, god-forbid, an arc.

Sure, much of my enjoyment of this episode came from the multitude of asides, continuity nods and fan-wanks crammed into the margins, but I don’t see any problem with that. For a show as flawed and inconsistent as this, getting this much out of it is really a treat. Join me in two weeks’ time when Glee returns with a not-so-special guest star just before Regionals and we’ll see if we can’t polish this turd to a nice, healthy shine (hey, Mythbusters says it’s possible).

Grade: B+

Songs

“Don’t You Want Me” - The Human League (Blaine and Rachel)
“Blame It” - Jamie Foxx and T-Pain (Nude Erections)
“One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” - Amos Milburn (Will and Bieste)
“Tik Tok” - Kesha (Brittany w/ Nude Erections)

Random Observations

Sectionals, Regionals, Nationals - Hold on a second, I just realized something: did Homo Explosion featuring the Wrath of Sunshine not win their Sectional? Are they just not gonna bring back the wee Filipino and her new coach, the comically named Dustin Goolsby? They set them up as antagonists, especially Dustin for Will, so it’s really kind of shitty to just drop that thread... not that it or they have been mentioned since September.

Rachel - didn’t bother me this episode, like, at all.

Rachel’s party - began appropriately embarrassing, but by the time it was in full-swing, I thought, “You know, if the whole episode took place in one night in this basement, it might be the best episode ever.” I imagined everyone’s little dramas playing out in different rooms and a shitload of character work getting done, but... it’s Glee and even though this episode was better than most, it can’t help being what it is: a show that pretends to be wild and random, but is in fact very formulaic. But come on, how awesome would that have been?

Blaine’s momentary bi-curiosity - would have been an great thing to explore, rather than squelch in the interest of narrative economy or having to - gasp - carry something over til' the next installment. Blaine is getting the most consistent, organic development of any character on the show thus far, which you think would please me. Though he began as a cardboard cut-out of perfection for Kurt to moon over, Blaine’s deepened significantly in the last few weeks and being possibly bi could have been a really interesting exploration of someone’s sexual development. Even though it would have been using time that could have been spent fleshing out one of the show’s woefully under-used minority characters, I would have been more than happy to let that slide in favor of something I didn’t see coming, unlike the cop-out of Blaine realizing nope, he’s totally gay. Sigh...

Will - Even though he’s a more realistic character this week, making a drunk-dial booty call to a married woman who hasn’t been showing any interest in you is pretty foul.

Sue - Is it just me, or does her running Oral Fixation just seem like they’ve run out of things for her to do? Sue was the show’s break-out character, but now she’s just broken right out of the show.

Great Lines

Sue - I mean come on, look where you are: you’re coaching a glee club that can only beat choirs of old people, you’re rehashing the details of your failed marriage with the very lemur who rejected the bestial horror of your craven sexual advances and when my glee club crushes you at Regionals, well, the last ounce of meaning will drain from your life and you will turn to drink.

Finn - Kurt’s been blackmailing me ever since he saw my browser history.

Kurt - I’m still trying to impress Blaine, can’t get too sloppy. (pan to Blaine dancing like a jackass) Clearly he doesn’t have the same concern.

Rachel - (about her date with Blaine) It was lovely: we saw Love Story at the revival theatre, we even dressed up as the characters.
Kurt - (aside) That’s not gay at all!

Kurt - And I’m doing you a favor by telling you that Blaine is the first of a long line of conflicted men that you will date that will later turn out to be the most flaming of homosexuals.
Rachel - Blaine and I have a lot in common.
Kurt - A sentiment expressed by many a hag about many a gay.

Rachel - It’s a Broadway tradition for nervous performers to take a shot of whiskey before going on to calm their nerves and to mask the stench of bad dental hygiene.

Brittany - (after vomiting on Rachel, causing Santana to puke on the stage) Everybody drink responsibly.

Quinn - There’s a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black right now.
Brittany - (whispering to Mercedes) That is so racist.