Can this star-speckled action outing give us that 007 thrill we're missing right now...?

With historic studio MGM buried in a mountain of debt, there has been a glaring hole, a $200 million chalk outline, which the James Bond franchise usually fills alongside the equally hefty Bourne series. The Tourist, starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, will not satiate the thirst the public has for those two iconic behemoths. However, one can’t help but think that director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck had 007 in mind when he began drawing up plans for this romantic thriller remake starring two of the world’s most idolized film stars. With secret messages, luxurious apartments, guns, chase scenes and two or three major twists, there are all the makings here of a classic action thriller. When you add the romance of Venice to the equation, you suddenly see the potential for the perfect Saturday night date movie.

It starts off well enough. Elise, a glamorous Anglaise, is being tracked in France by a team from Interpol led, via satellite, by Inspector John Acheson (Paul Bettany). Receiving a letter from her criminal lover, mega-thief Alexander Pryce, she is told to take the train to Venice and during the journey to find a man who closely resembles him so as to misdirect the police. Burning the letter, she escapes the incompetent clutches of her unseen chaperones and walks, or rather sits, into the unassuming life of long-haired Frank, an American maths teacher who is visiting the Northern coast of Italy seeking to remedy a broken heart. Striking up an instant rapport that to anybody else would be a little too perfect, they cross paths again off the train, a decision that has repercussions for both Elise and Frank, particularly as they don’t just have Interpol to deal with, but also villainous victim Reginald Shaw (Steven Berkoff) who is looking to recoup the money stolen by Pryce at any human cost.

Unfortunately, whilst The Tourist does have moments of genuine humour, the plot soon becomes increasingly erratic and nonsensical the further along it goes. This is particularly surprising given that the three credited writers are von Donnersmarck, Christopher McQuarrie and Julian Fellowes – each renowned for realistic, tightly-plotted thrillers, with The Lives of Others, The Usual Suspects and Gosford Park between them. It seems likely that McQuarrie was brought in to tighten the plot whilst Fellowes worked more on the romantic dialogue and witticisms. Rather disappointingly, given the calibre of the scribes, there is neither a cohesive vision nor any depth to the story. Instead, we’re faced with a few nice moments, mainly in the first half hour, before the ensuing chaos.

At the same time, whilst the acting is of a typically high standard, Berkoff just doesn’t cut the mustard as the vicious businessman out for revenge, whilst Depp seems a little, well, normal without the flamboyant outfits and CGI graphics we are used to seeing. At times, both he and Jolie barely flicker with emotion and you have to wonder exactly why, or for whom, the Pirates of the Caribbean star took on this role.

In truth, though, none of the above really matters because the real hero in all of this is Venice itself. Artfully shot by renowned cinematographer John Seale, the beauty of the city shines through the messy twists and turns of its temporary inhabitants. In that sense, then, this is a successful film, because despite all of its faults as a dramatic piece of art, it does bring together Depp, Jolie and Venice.

Now who wouldn’t pay to see that?

The Tourist goes on general release in the UK today

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