"I take myself for better or for worse..."

Pro: Burt and Carole are getting married; mazel tov!

Con: Oh, but look - Sue’s getting married, too! To herself! Oh, that wacky Sue! As much of a clown as Sue normally is, they could just give her floppy shoes and a red nose and call it a day.

Pro: Kurt’s going to plan his dad’s wedding. It’s nice he has something to be excited over with what’s been going on lately.

Con: Sam is suddenly really into being King Shit in his school.

Pro: Finn reminds him that he’s still in glee and this forms a ceiling of popularity.

MegaCon: Sam’s pre-proposal promise ring scene. This was creepy and weird, even to Quinn: “What are you, six?” Luckily, she didn’t say yes, accept or wear the ring... but she will.

Con: Finn wants Kurt to figure out a way for him to appear a leader after discovering Sam’s quest for dominance and the quarterback position. Unfortunately, he wimps out of my idea from a week or two ago: the glee guys, since they are all on the football team, should make Dave back off Kurt.

Pro: Dave amps up the creepiness with his lingering, almost grinning stare at Kurt right before he steals the bride/groom cake decoration.

Pro: Will’s balls finally drop and he takes Kurt to the principal to talk about Dave. Unfortunately...

Con: Sue is still principal, but in a surprising

Pro: Sue actually cares.

Con: She can’t do anything about it unless Dave actually assaults Kurt, but promises to “expel him faster than a Thai take-out place can read back your delivery order.”

Con: Kurt’s “I don’t feel like part of this school at all” comment. I know where this is going.

Pro: Kurt telling Sue that calling him “Lady” is also bullying. She renames him “Porcelain.”

Pro: Tina’s confused when Rachel intimates Brittany and Artie are dating. Brittany’s response: “Deal with it.”

UltraPro: Brittany’s follow-up: “When you guys fooled around, did he ever, like, just lie there?”

Pro: Sue’s mom, Doris, is Carol Burnett.

Pro: In one of several subplots that revolved around information from season one, Sue’s parents turn out to really have been famous Nazi hunters.

Pro: Sue’s mom calls her “Susie.”

Con: Sue is not only marrying herself, she’s walking herself down the aisle and performing the ceremony. This whole subplot is absurd on multiple levels and beyond the show’s usual oddness.

Pro: When Rachel is acting out-of-character, it actually makes her better. She concocts the plan for the glee girls to convince their footballer boyfriends to stick up for Kurt and asks Finn if he’s seriously more concerned about losing his position to Sam than Kurt’s well-being.

Con: Rachel says she’s never been so disappointed in Finn before... I’m pretty sure she has.

MegaPro: Mike fuckin' Chang is the one to deliver most of the “Leave Kurt alone” message to Dave.

Pro: After Mike gets pushed into Artie, Sam bum-rushes Dave.

Pro: Everybody ragging on Finn for not being part of Kurt’s defense.

Pro: Doris and Sue performing “Ohio” in a sort-of vaudevillian manner, and Doris’ capper: “Well, that wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.”

Con: As great as it is that Kurt finally told Burt about the bullying, it’s kind of transparent that the only reason the dance lesson took place at school instead of at home was so Burt could rough up Dave. Fortunately, the show’s swung it’s realism needle far away from home and Burt doesn’t go to jail for assaulting a minor. However...

Pro: Burt also asks Finn, “What the hella you been doin' while this’s been goin' on, huh?”

Pro: The bullying matter finally gets to a meeting between Kurt, Dave and their fathers.

Pro: Dave’s father, Paul, is not a caricature or an obviously bad parent.

Pro: Dave’s secret almost comes out, but Kurt keeps it. Was it out of fear or respect? What is our responsibility to keep the secret of someone who terrorizes us? I don’t think he was wrong to not say, but I would have liked to see everyone’s reaction if he had.

Pro: Paul narrows his eyes at his son when Dave intimates Kurt may be lying about the death threat because he’s interested in him. It looks like Paul smells an untruth, but can’t tell exactly what.

Con: Even though Sue expels Dave over the death threat, which is a Pro, that’s not how expulsion works. As I’ve said in previous articles, it’s not like firing someone from a job, it’s more like getting rid of a president: If a student is such a danger that he needs to be removed from the student body, he would be suspended pending an expulsion hearing or placed in in-school-suspension for the same period. The hearing takes place with school board members, who decide if the student’s enrollment at the school should be terminated. At least that’s the way it was done in central Florida in the mid-nineties.

Pro: Dave’s parting look to Kurt was more sad than angry.

Con: Finn is propagating the lie to Rachel that he didn’t have sex with Santana after she confesses that she didn’t with Jesse, but...

Pro: ...for recognizing some form of continuity.

Con: for it being from the exact same episode as the other one.

Pro: Burt’s dancing saves “Marry You” from a treacley grave.

Pro: Santana’s reaction shot off Rachel and Finn during the ceremony - what’s going on there?

Pro: What a lovely wedding ::sigh:: Mike O’Malley and Romy Rosemont (Burt and Carole) have excellent chemistry.

Con: Recognizing Portmanteau Couple Naming and other ultra-self-awareness makes me chafe.

Pro: Sue’s tracksuit wedding dress.

Con: Quinn’s wearing Sam’s ring... ugh...

Pro: Figgins is coming back next week.

Pro: Obviously he’ll return from Delton’s Arcadian Academy, but for now, Kurt’s one of the competition.

So, that wasn’t completely painful, but was certainly held back by Sue’s primary subplot. Kurt’s bullying saga has drawn to an artificial close, but that better not be the last we see of Dave - they spent too much time building this up just to set up Kurt going to the all-boys death camp of tolerance. Next week’s episode is called “Special Education"; has someone finally caught on to Brittany?

Pros/Cons: 30/15

Grade: B- (extra points for twice as many Pros)

Songs
“Ohio” from Wonderful Town C+
“Marry You” - Bruno Mars B-
“Sway”- Dean Martin B
“Just the Way You Are” - Bruno Mars C+

Random Observations

Becky - Does she go to class anymore or is she just Sue’s slave-labor personal assistant?

Artie/Brittany/Santana - So Brittany and Santana are cool now? I guess Santana’s not pulling anymore bullshit since there’s no dinner at Breadstix up for grabs.

Dave - Now that the show is totally devoted to the plotline, I’d like to find out more about Dave’s home life and what makes him so self-loathing. Is there more to his father than what appears?

Santana - is a little screwy when it comes to emotions. She threatens to expose Finn’s lie to break him and Rachel up so maybe they can hook up again. Why would he want to do that? I don’t think he understands the concept of a revenge- or hate-fuck, so the only reason to blab would be to start trouble... which she does revel in.

“Marry You” - The song’s chorus is problematic: you can “think” you’re in love, but you can’t “think” you want to marry someone... you have to know.

The wedding - was apparently planned and executed in two days.

Sectionals - is next week. Nude Erections have not rehearsed, discussed a set-list or made any plans or decisions at all and now they have to compete against Kurt and the Garglers. How can they win?

Great Lines

Finn - Are you sure we should release three hundred white doves indoors? Won’t that get a little... messy?
Kurt - That’s why we feed them glitter, Finn.

Sue - “I didn’t shove that kid, I tripped,” works like a charm; I use it all the time.

Doris - “I felt bad, taking him out - I mean, it’s bad enough having to live there. Have you ever been to Phoenix? It’s a hellhole!”

Brittany - (to Artie after he backed up Mike in the locker room) “I’m so turned on by you right now.”