Aaron takes a video-filled flight of fancy into Glee's future...

We're not fans of pagination at Shadowlocked, but the number of embedded videos in this list would probably fry your computer in one hit..  Ed.

Since Glee presently continues to mostly fire on all suck-cylinders and I’ve already enumerated the best performances gone-by, I must now cast my hopes for the show into the Land of May-but-Probably-Never-Gonna-Be. My intention is to put some thought into these and how they could fit into a possible narrative, not just randomly or because it would be awesome to hear someone specific sing it (which unfortunately disqualifies Kurt doing “Take On Me” by A-Ha, which would sound fabulous).

In order to make sense of what comes below, it should be understood that I’m working from the following assumptions and restrictions:

- My theorizing branches off from the end of the Oct. 12 episode, “Duets” and does not take into consideration any real-world rumors about the show or the character’s futures.

- The show ends when the characters graduate at the end of the third season. This provides a point of closure for the various plot threads and just plain makes sense.

- Sam is, in fact, “playing for team gay.” While I realize they very well may introduce another character as Kurt’s love interest, for the purposes of this article, it’s Sam. Poor Quinnie...

- I realize that as early as the next episode, these ideas could (and probably will) be derailed, but what the hell?

Artie - “Drive” (The Cars) from s02e07 - “The Substitute”

Theoretical Context: While he’s being loaded into his dad’s van, Artie sees Mike picking up Tina in his new car, so he decides to learn to drive a hand-controlled vehicle after this number.

Real or Imaginary: Imaginary. I see it as one of those classic “watching them in the hallway, feeling sad” situations.

Personal Reasoning: Artie creates his own misery - he happily gave his virginity to Brittany, then felt bad afterward and he wasn’t a good boyfriend to Tina in the first place. He’s gone so far as to preposterously maneuver his way onto the football team in an effort to win her back, but isn’t Mike on the football team? I don’t see how that would impress her.

I want to see Mike front off Artie about his fixation, unaware that her fickle feelings are swinging back towards her ex, but I don’t know if they’ll give him that much screentime. Anyway, I could see Artie singing this song and making himself feel worse; like they said in High Fidelity: “Do listen to pop music because I’m miserable or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?”

Pertinent Lyric: “Who’s gonna pay attention to your dreams? / Who’s gonna plug their ears when you scream?”

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Quinn (with Nude Erections) - “It’s a Sin” (Pet Shop Boys) from s02e10 - “Mistakes”

Theoretical Context: Out of nowhere, Quinn’s father reappears in her life, trying to repair their relationship while simultaneously guilt-tripping her over last season’s pregnancy. This number finds our head Cheerio lamenting while her father’s in the audience.

Real or Imaginary: Real and onstage, as part of a dress rehearsal her father has “magnanimously” wormed his way into attending.

Personal Reasoning: The show has never really addressed the fallout of how Quinn’s pregnancy affected her family; as far as we know, she’s still living with Mercedes. I think it’s important to flesh out this aspect of the character, allowing her to address any lingering feelings the complete destruction of her family has caused.

Pertinent Lyric: “At school they taught me how to be / so pure in thought and word and deed / they didn't quite succeed.”

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Tina - “Sheena’s in a Goth Gang” (The Cramps) from s02e15 - “Lacy Demon Clothes”

Theoretical Context: After she breaks up with Mike to go back to Artie and he disappoints her yet again, Tina finally dips into the depressed end of her chosen subculture and starts hanging out with the goth kids from Shawnee High, hanging out in Allentown Cemetery on the edge of town when she starts dating one of them.

Real or Imaginary: Semi-real - one of her new friends puts on an old Cramps tape and we see Tina singing this around McKinley when Nude Erections gives her grief for dating outside the group.

Personal Reasoning: It’s about time Tina meets other goth kids who (judging by her recent shift away from Hot Topic laziness to excellent Victorian goth) are as into it as her. Plus, I really want to hear her sing it as “Tina’s in a Goth Gang.”

Pertinent Lyric: “She's digging up the graveyard / black lips and toenails / brand new bat wing / at the county jail.”

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