We went to the largest single gathering of Bond girls ever. Well, y'know, there was nothing on TV...

This is the sort of throwaway line that can give you a bad name. Really, what kind of person other than perhaps Walter Mitty, can actually drop a bombshell like that and actually have the ammunition to back it up. Well dear reader, I can.

Attending this year's Fanfest in London’s County Hal, I met and chatted with, on a one to one basis, some of the best looking and most desired actresses ever to star in the 007 franchise. Yes, you are right the title of this piece does tend to imply that a lot more than a bit of a chat took place which I might say, very clearly at this point it (very sadly) did not. However, to see quasi Goddesses of the Silver Screen living and made flesh in front of you does go a long way to reminding you of the power of escapist entertainment and of the Bond franchise.

So who did I interact with (oops - sorry) talk to?  Firstly Caroline Munro. Still very glamorous and showing a remarkable ability to project that dark, animal-like quality that characterises her roles. Very easy to talk to and still very alluring. Next was Tania Mallet; always the most aristocratic of profiles and with superlative cheekbone structure. She told me about filming in Goldfinger and after that topic the essential difference between (David) Bailey and Norman Parkinson: this is of course because she was a top fashion model as well as a Bond actress.

At this point I graciously disengaged with Tania (Now stop it Philip) and looked round the room. There straight in front of me, looking more petite than I imagined was Britt Ekland, once again the bone structure very apparent but studiously reading a file of papers. To her right was Maud Adams, more representative on that particular Sunday afternoon of an Ivy League English Professor than perhaps a Bond Girl, but as befitting the only actress to have been in 2 lead roles in 2 bond films - once again with very striking features.

Just at the end of the room was Honor Blackman, looking great - I don’t really want to say great for her age, but she really is. She has always struck me as being a no nonsense type of actress and generally speaking she has played those roles throughout her career. I never really saw her as being 'cuddly', and by all accounts on some of the Avengers live TV shows (Yes they were live) real pain was inflicted by Cathy Gale. Ask her stuntmen. However in Goldfinger it seems that Sean Connery redressed the balance by gripping her arm extremely roughly during the pseudo-Judo stable fight.

With such a plethora of lovelies I was spoilt for choice. What to do? I decided to set my sights on the middle ranking Bond Girls, as all the top stars seemed to be busty. Did I really write busty? I actually meant busy, as in talking to people, but now you come to mention it…

Most of the girls in the earlier Bond films were rather, well, endomorphic. And yet the latest actresses are very slim. I wonder why that is? Is it a cultural thing? Is it a change in women’s shape over 30 years? Is it to do with the perceived attractive look that today’s girls want? I don’t know, I’m just making the observation.  For me the Seventies fuller shape Bond Girls were and probably still are among the major elements that made the films. All of them were impossibly fabulous then, and most them still are today.

For instance, Valerie Leon, also there, was a legendary Bond Girl. I mean was there any male who saw the Hai Karate advert as well and didn’t dream about Valerie? You just didn’t see girls like that in Streatham, and you still don't. I have no idea what it did for the sales of the product, but to a young lad just entering puberty, seeing the ad was a very memorable occasion. Valerie herself still pays tribute to it, but when I talked to her I didn’t see a strapping leather clad Amazon. I saw a beautiful woman with soft eyes and a very quiet way of describing what it is like to be the target of thousand of male fantasies. Very quietly spoken, very knowing and very lovely.

And then I met Caron Gardner. She was one of Pussy Galore’s pilots. Do you remember them? They were the ones who sprayed Fort Knox with poison gas – except it wasn’t – Fort Knox or poison gas. Apparently Caron got the part because one of the other girls did not turn up or went home, or something. But Caron looked great then and still does now – possible even better. A really entertaining chat with a lovely person with great insight into a showbiz career. And who has worked with some of the truly greats. And also very importantly who still has the ability to mesmerise with her eyes.

Lastly I presented myself to Madeline Smith. She has always been a Bond favourite and it was for me a real pleasure to meet her in the flesh. Madeline had a unique quality in her acting persona; that of an innocent, naïve yet undoubtedly intelligent woman. When I told her that was how she seemed, she said that it was not an act at all - when she was making those early films she really was innocent and naïve. Since we are talking about the early seventies we should not assume that just because in London the sixties were swinging, the effects had percolated as far as East Sussex where the divine and rather sheltered Miss Smith was brought up.

The eyes and the steady timbre of the cultured voice remain today though, as does the ability to elucidate her feelings clearly. At the later question and answer session Madeline did not really need a microphone. Not that her voice was loud, just that it was precise and carried very well - just like her demeanour. She had told me earlier that she enjoyed being in the Sunday night programs on BBC2 a bit more than the Bond role, but that it was the Bond role which had become legend. And she explained how the in the famous scene with the zipper it was made to descend down the dress. Of course it wasn’t James Bond’s magnetic watch or even his personality, but rather the out-of-shot supine special effects director pulling down the zipper via a length of thin cord inside the dress.

I never really believed that trick was done by magnetic power anyway. It really didn’t matter to me at the time, in the same that way that some of the Bond tricks are obviously hokum. All that really matters is that one or two of Q’s more esoteric gadgets get used for an ulterior, generally sexual purpose for which they certainly were not designed. And normally speaking there was a statuesque Bond Girl on the receiving end.

So it was a great afternoon session, I felt tired and satiated from the contact with Bond Girls, and I hope the earth moved for them too.

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