Dexter Fletcher, zombies, the end of the world...where did it all go wrong?

Good-bad movie: movies that are so bad, that they're good, and have a cult following, such as Leprechaun 5: In The Hood.

Autumn is not one of those films.

Only supreme sheer dedication to the cause kept me watching this. I had tried to watch it several times prior, once falling asleep, secondly... falling asleep again, and thirdly I tried to coerce a relative into watching it with me, and she asked me what she had done to me to deserve such a fate.

I wanted to like it. I really did. Not just because it had zombies and Dexter Fletcher, but in the words of Mulder, I wanted to believe. I wanted Autumn to be a film that would be blogged about, written about and discussed. I wanted the underdog to make it. However this is a B-movie that should be tossed into the centre of the earth, and never talked about again.

Autumn is about a virus that sweeps the world and kills everyone, except a select few, who seem to have immunity, who then - as all survivors do - hang out in a community centre and bitch about how it's every man for themselves and how to stay alive yet sassy. Well, we are trying to be more environmentally friendly, but that doesn't mean recycling the plot of every contrived undead movie of the past half century.

Dexter Fletcher (Michael) is a secondary school teacher, who's seen his whole class drop dead (I'd say that was a reason for celebration). Michael and two others decide to leg it to the sticks, to hunker down and ride it out. Not surprisingly the rest of the survivors, who are mostly American, decide not to go. Cue conveniently finding a empty farmhouse, with an emergency generator and having a lady with them who seems to know a lot about the zombie mindset, that they're getting smarter. Specifically that they are attracted to sound, and then light. Ergo candlelit dinners, and breathing through your nose. I was hoping for a sex scene slipped in, or a bit of cheeky nip to just awake me out of my stupor. I should have known that was futile.

The special effects were hilariously bad (and to my liking), with lots of corn syrup and loud inappropriately dramatic scores. And once the zombies figure out that they're attracted to sound, they go raving in a church, much to the dismay of the drug-addled occupants, which is the only highlight of this monstrosity.

The film drags on drearily for the first hour, with the appearance of a clown with personal space issues, and Dexter Fletcher with a beard. It then drags on just as drearily, if not more so, for the second hour, interspersed with GIFs of leaves falling - to make sense of the name of the film, I assume. The plot had more holes than a cheese grater, and for much of it, I was hoping for someone to get eaten.

David Carradine, for no reason whatsoever, makes a cameo as another survivor that just can't accept his mother's a zombie. Cut the umbilical cord Carradine, you don't want to accidentally asphyxiate yourself. Oh WAIT...

Do yourself a favour, give Autumn a miss. Like the leaves that blow away at that time of the year, hopefully the film fades from my memory just as fast.

Extras: None

Autumn is released on May 10th

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS ARTICLE, PLEASE HELP SUPPORT OUR SITE, AT NO COST WITH ONE CLICK ON THE FACEBOOK 'LIKE' BUTTON BELOW:

If you're interested in writing for Shadowlocked (disc and screening reviews, etc, or just getting some extra coverage for your extraordinary writing talent, get in touch with us.