Do you have a 'Tsunami of violence' in your home? Do you have a games console? Then apparently, yes...

Hot diggety dog, here's a doozy for gamers. On the 19th March, ITV turned out a shameless and indefensible diatribe against the gaming industry that even the most hardened Daily Mail bigot would feel was verging on the ignorant. Menopause-friendly gardener-cum-novelist Alan Titchmarsh invited beardy gaming journalist Tim Ingham, smirking schoolgirl "sexpert" (also: failed actress, but more on that later) Julie Peasgood and Hutt-u-like former Sun editor Kevin MacKenzie onto his show to discuss violence in video games. What followed was one of the most crass, biased and downright infuriating discussions ever committed to God's good airwaves.

If you haven't seen it, it's below. Go on, take a peek. My righteous indignation ain't going anywhere.

Thing is, it's pretty easy to lambaste the borderline retardation exhibited by Peasgood and MacKenzie in the discussion. Peasgood has little more to go on than repeatedly pointing out that some video games are violent (the argumentative equivalent of pointing out that some dogs have fleas) and MacKenzie comes across as a bewildered old fart ("I'm not a war-gamer") who's out of his depth in a discussion he knows little about.

"Let's ignore the fact that looking for a moral compass from a former Sun editor is like looking for an ice cube on the surface of the actual sun"

Let's ignore the fact that looking for a moral compass from a former Sun editor is like looking for an ice cube on the surface of the actual sun, and concentrate on the more vocal Julie "I am categorically against violence for entertainment" Peasgood, the very embodiment of the kind of vile, cheap hypocrisy that permeates modern journalism. As has been widely reported elsewhere, she voiced a character in the 2000 PS release Martian Gothic: Unification, a sub-Resident Evil survival horror clone involving zombies, guns and (hey, whod've thunk it?) violence (albeit of a comparatively mild and pixellated kind).

It might come across that I'm personally attacking - with bias and not inconsiderable bile - the people who are making these accusations against games. But why the fuck not? They seem perfectly at ease attacking an industry they know little about, more interested in spouting vague, unsubstantiated soundbites voiced solely to garner a round of applause from an equally misinformed, hooting studio audience. Tim Ingham voices his protests eloquently and sensibly, yet they're drowned out by an audience groomed to side with a hypocritical witch and a Page 3-peddling gnome.

"Do you really think that Titchmarsh and his bevvy of morally-righteous dunderheads would have gathered together to criticise violence in Hollywood movies on the day the Oscars took place?"

But the real reason this debacle of a debate grinds my gears isn't the flagrant bias, ignorance or cretinous nature of the debate itself - it's the reason for its airing. Ostensibly, the good researchers at the Alan Titchmarsh Show arranged this PR clusterfuck because that very same night, the Video Games BAFTAS were being held in London. Even if we ignore - and frankly, we're already ignoring a lot - that awards eventually went to such egregiously depraved titles as Flowers, LittleBigPlanet and Wii Sports Resort (the latter for the blood-soaked gorefest that is the Best Family and Social Game category, natch), do you really think that Titchmarsh and his bevvy of morally-righteous dunderheads would have gathered together to criticise violence in Hollywood movies on the day the Oscars took place?

Once more, it's hypocrisy of the highest order. Middle-brow, middle-class faux-journalism shooting at easy targets because it's easier to get an ill-informed studio audience to sound like they wholeheartedly agree on an issue rather than engaging in measured debate. It's patronising, moralising bullshit, and wholly indicative of the kind of ratings-chasing sensationalism that, sadly, we've come to expect from this kind of lazy, lacklustre TV journalism.

It's no surprise that gaming fails to be taken seriously as an artform when this kind of witless browbeating exists, with media personalities assuming that the viewpoints they propound are the sound, ethical judgements of those in the know, where in reality they're just the garbled rantings of an inelegant, nescient stooge. Bring on the revolution. I'll happily show the buggers what real world violence feels like, and I'll be confident to tell them - right before I shoot them in the eye - that my rage and indignation doesn't come from playing video games.